Mann...

Remember LG?? The one that I've mentioned before?? Well, I finally met him. Turns out he's my friend's friend. Funny thing is, she and I talked about a guy who looks like VJ Utt. But in fact, we were actually talking about the same person, but we didn't know it. Anywayz, it was 9pm plus and I just knocked off work. Rongyan asked me to meet her in cinileisure, which I did. I didn't find her anywhere outside the building, so I went in. Then I saw her familiar curly hair, afterwhich I noticed a familiar greenish shirt on a guy walking behind her. I realised it was LG!! I was wondering how to approach the group, 'coz they were walking away, not knowing that I was there already. So, I had two scenerios in my head. One; run up to her and stop her before she walked too far away, or, two; shout her name. Then I thought, running? In a skirt? Looking like an idiot?? Forget it. So, I shouted her name. Then, everyone turned to look at me, including LG!! While about to introduce everyone to me, Rongyan got interrupted by LG. "Hi, I'm *(name censored)." He stuck out his hand and I shook it, replying, "Hi, I'm Amanda." Then the other 2 girls were introduced by Rongyan. Weird how LG wanted to shake my hand. I mean, when you meet a friend's friend, you just wave, not shake hands?? That's why I was a little suspicious. Maybe he wanted some contact with me?? Hmmz...yea right! Anywayz, after the introduction, we went up to the ticket booth. There, they were deciding on what show to watch. While I was trying to get hold of 2 friends on the phone, he came up to me. This was our conversation

LG: Hey, you look familiar. Are you from my course?
I was going to smack his head. I mean, duh! How can you not notice me?? Wasn't 4 months enough to at least notice me??
Me: Ya.
LG: Are you in my lecture?
Me: Yea, I am.
LG: What class are you from?
Me: 1F02
LG: Ohh...

Can't remember the rest of the conversation. Then anywayz, the group decided that they didn't want to watch a movie, so instead, we went to Spinelli. When crossing the road, he slowed down and walked next to me. I asked where we were going, 'coz no one tells me anything. So yea, he told me he didn't know as well. Then, I asked him if he knew of any places that opens 24 hours, besides 7-11. And then he tried to be funny, but it was a frail attempt though, he replied "Cheers". I didn't quite get it at first, I kept thinking of the old show called "Cheers", thus maybe that's why I didn't get the joke. But anywayz, we made our way to Spinelli and got ourselves a table to fit all of us. Then after some small talk, some of them went to get drinks. When they returned, we started making small talk again (all of us, not him and me). Once in a while, I would look at him, 'coz I didn't want him to think I'm desperate for him, but yea, I noticed he really isn't as good-looking as I might have imagined. It totally ruined the image I had of him in my head. Just like the Jed Ong scenerio. So saddening. His teeth were crooked; I thought he had a great smile, his nose is a little weird; I thought he was perfect from head to toe. So yea...sad. But that's not why I'm not attracted to him as much, it's his personality. I thought he was one of those mysterious kinds, talk less, listen more kind. I thought he was suave and knew how to be "cool". But, no, he wasn't anything like that. My perception of him was totally wrong. So saddening. But yea, at times I would look at him across the table, and most of the times, catch him looking at me. He's cute in a way that everytime I do catch him looking at me, he quickly turns away or looks at someone else. Haha, so cute, so sweet. But I just hope that my interpretation is accurate. Maybe he's thinking that I don't look as good as he might have imagined me to be as well. Haha, that'll be funny. But yea, when I was leaving, I said bye to him first, followed by the 2 other girls. Hope he thinks I'm interested and hope he's interested too. I dunno, I want him to have an interest in me, but at the same time, I don't want to lead him on. I'm not sure if I have feelings for him, it might grow the more I get to know him. We'll see...

I feel so empty inside. It's hard to explain. Thing is, I have friends who love me, all around me, but I still feel so alone. I feel so tired, talking about this subject...THINKING of this subject every single day. Why can't I find a match? Am I so protective of myself? I don't think I'm that hard to love. I don't think I'm that hard to please. I'm always happy with my friends, yet I want attention that no friend could ever provide. No normal friend could provide. I guess it's love from the opposite sex. But I don't want to just go out and find someone to love. I want to find a match for myself. Someone who'd love me, care for me, think of me. Not a fling, but something that has potential in being even a long-term relationship. I know, I know, first relationships should never be long-term, but I just want one. I want to find love. All this time, I've been waiting for it to find me. It has, a couple of times, but at those times, I wasn't ready. Now I am. But I don't want to love just any guy. I want to love my partner, my companion, my soul mate.

Gawd...

So tired... I've stood for 8 and a 1/2 hours straight. That's the life of SALES.

'Coz it's the Christmas season, the shop where I'm working at sells alot of Christmas ornaments. And oh how pretty they are. There's the glass snowflakes, glass angels with glitter trimmings, and my fav.; the glass ballerina with feathers as a skirt. Of course there are plenty more, but these are my favs. Thing is, many of the ornaments have glitter to make it sparkle, and well, everywhere you go and anywhere you touch, glitter will follow. Barely 5 mins in the store, and my hands were glistening with glitter. It's no use washing it off, 'coz 5 mins later, the glitter will re-appear. So annoying...

But it's nice to be surrounded by all this beauty, even though it's all materialistic. It also makes me get into the Christmas mood that I oh-so love. I dunno, I'm weird, but I love just buying stuff for the people I love. It's just so...satisfying... Anywayz, more about my job soon, see ya!

Sad newz...

I didn't get the flight stewardess position. Crap, now I think I'll have to repeat my poly semester, 'coz I know I did very badly for the exams. Just hope now that I'd get promoted to the 2nd semester of Year 1 of poly. If not, I'd be wasting 6 months, re-doing all my crappy modules. Mann...I'm so dead...

Today I met up with 3 ex-classmates from my secondary school. But the interesting story wasn't that. It was on my way to meet one of them when something happened.

Read my archived entry dated Wednesday, October 16, 2002. It's about THAT crush. Mann...it was so weird. I was at Clementi MRT taking an mrt down to City Hall to meet one of my ex-classmates. Well, when I go to Clementi MRT I usually walk all the way to the back, actually ALMOST all the way back. Anywayz, I was about to sit at the usual bench I sit at when I'm waiting for the train to arrive, when I saw a guy sitting facing the other direction touching his hair. I didn't think too much about it, I mean, I neaten my hair lots of times, so I didn't bother about it and just sat down. But shortly after I sat down, my train arrived, so I stood behind the yellow line waiting for the train to stop. Whilst waiting, I was just looking around and I saw HIM!!! My gawd...he's still so cute! Heez... But yea, it looked as though he was trying to avoid me 'coz when we got into the train, he walked in the other direction and sat at the seats around the back of the train. What the??? Then I thought, maybe he didn't see me, so I didn't bother about it too much. BUT, when he was going to alight, he wanted to walk as far as possible to an exit whilst the train stops. While he walked closer to me, I turned to look at him. Once he saw me, he immediately stopped and turned to the exit that was right beside him. He even bumped into his friend. At that point, I was smiling to myself. It was cute, in a way. But I also felt as though he was avoiding me. Strange, 'coz I've never even spoken to him, and he's already avoiding me. Mann...what's up with that??? But at least I got to see him. See! When I least expect to see someone, he/she shows up. So annoying...

I should go out more. I mean, it's the holidays right??? Also, the more I stay at home, the more chores I have to do. And that's not good.

My plans for the holidays:

1. Get a job
2. Shop
3. Have a sleepover party in a hotel room
4. Get a tan
5. Buy christmas presents
6. Get a boyfriend (*wink*)
7. Go clubbing
8. Get a new wardrobe (Need to look different)
9. Redecorate my room
10. Buy a new tankini

Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)

DO'S
Sagittarius is basically a happy go lucky kind. You can enjoy with them their zest and enthusiasm for life. They bubble with excitement. And if you share the same interests and hobbies, life can be great fun together. They are frank and straightforward so if you want some truthful opinion about anything or anyone go to them. Be optimistic as they are and view life as glass half full.

DON'TS
Sagittarius is fiercely independent and cannot tolerate restriction. Hence, do not try to hold them back in life. Let them enjoy their freedom because if you hold any special place in their heart they will always come back for you. Do not feel irritated by the exaggeration in their speech. They may go on and on, talking about certain things that may not even interest you, but its their way of trying to communicate with you. They are basically frank and outspoken (to the point of being rude), so do not feel offended by their talks.

To look up on your zodiac Dos and Don'ts, click here.

Know what I like about guys?? Like everytime a girl gets picked up by a guy, he and his friends will automatically pay for anything and everything she desires. Strange huh...how people always say that money isn't everything, yet guys on the first so-called date, want to show the girl that he can spend money on her. Not to be labelled as a 'cheapo'. But yea, I don't mind guys paying for everything, saves me money. Also, I think that should be that way, guys pay for everything for the girls. Dating or not dating. It's only polite, I think. I mean, when a guy pays for a girl, the girl will feel as though she's being spoiled, it feels nice.

Last night I went for another JC party. I know I know, clubbing on Sunday?? That's insane! But hey, what to do? I didn't plan this event. Anyway, this was a combination of 2 JC parties into one. Boy was it packed! I mean, hel-lo?? Do they know the meaning of personal space? Gawd...I tell you, I couldn't even dance without being bumped by the people around me. By the way, a cutie tried dancing with me and my friend. I think he was after my friend though, I wouldn't have mind leaving her with him to dance one-on-one, but she has a boyfriend, and I don't wanna be blamed for encouraging something that could have been prevented. Anywayz, he was cute. I saw him at the ACJC party the other time too. He opened the door for me on the 2nd floor of Milk Bar. I thought he was quite gentlemenly, but after today, after seeing the way he dances, it spoiled my image of this prince charming. But of course if the next time he wants to dance with me...I wouldn't mind..*wink* *wink*. Today had a couple of cute guys too. One was my friend's ex. I saw him at the ACJC party the other time too. He's cute in a geeky but cool way. Hard to explain. Have you seen the frontman of Taproot?? Well, he looks like that only skinnier. But still...cute. Another cutie was one who was mixed blood too (by the way, I haven't mentioned, but all the cuties I mentioned today are all mixed blood). He was more 'ang-mo' so to speak. I caught him looking at me at times, so maybe at the next JC party we'd start a conversation....we'll see...

The police raided the club. Don't worry, I don't think anyone got caught. It was funny though. At that time, I was in the toilet outside of the club, so I hadn't knew about the raid till my friend banged on the toilet door and told me. But when I got out, there weren't any sign of cops. All I saw were people from the party, evicted from Milk Bar. Crap...know what's worse?? During the free-flow, Milk Bar ran out of ice and vodka. I mean, what the??? How can a club not serve vodka??? And we had to wait for new ice to be brought in. And that took almost 1/2 an hour. And we got evicted at 1am. How crappy is that?? I only took 1 drink. $25 for one lousy drink and lousy music to dance to. Not worth it mann...might as well go to Kream. Good music, cheaper price! Anyway, what WAS funny is that, while everyone was outside the building, someone from the opposite building threw down a water balloon onto a group of party-goers. Haha...damn funny. Then everyone left the open space and went to take shelter in case anymore bombs come their way. Haha, another thing was, while chilling under the building, someone shouted 'Mata Mata!' which meant Police in Malay. Haha, everyone scattered like rats, damn funny. Me and my friend and a group of guys ran too. Not really running but playfully whisking away from the building. It was so fun ya know...being 'chased' by cops. We weren't really chased. More like scared off, haha. But on the overall, the party was a total bummer, but the end of the party was fun. I think I'd go for the next one again though, heehee... Until next time...

I was just checking my emails when I accidentally opened one of those emails. What kinda emails?? The kind where it's like a 2 for 1 special for pictures and even films of naked women! The thing that I don't get is, why do these beautiful women need to show their bodies to the world? For fun and pleasure? Or the need for cash?? Still, I think these girls with beautiful faces and bodies can model without needing to take their clothes off. I mean, really! They are drop-dead gorgeous women, who I think can make it great in this world without resorting to nudity. Some people think nudity are works of art. But some, relate it to sex. All these women need to think straight. If they know they're good-looking and have great bodies, why do they want to do porn?? Sad...just sad...

My Gawd...

Why do they torment me so??? I was with 2 friends at Kino today. Kino is a bookstore. Anywayz, my friend was looking at a shoe mag whilst me and his gf looked at an all-guy hairstyle magazine. We're weren't checking out the hairdos...I mean...duh~ We were checking out the guys!!! Could tell her bf wasn't too happy about it, but he wasn't bothered by it too much. Back to the mag, omg, there was one mag that had on the cover, one of the most cutest guys I've ever seen on EARTH. I'm telling you...WOW... It was a Japanese magazine so I wasn't too much into it. But I tell you, this guy... Whew... I think he's mixed-blood. He looks Japanese with a little Spanish mix. And the name 'Enrique' gave a Spanish hint to it too... My gawd... So cute... Haha... Know what?? Truthfully, I was never this much into guys. I mean, yes, I like guys, and I was always straight. But I was never so open about my feelings about them till this year. I think it's the friends I hang out with, haha. No offense to my friends reading this. But yea, I think it's also 'coz I'm in need of a MAN. Haha... No, not just any MAN, but someone who'd love me for me. Not only that, but also, someone who can match me, in more ways than just looks or height. Match me mentally, physically and spiritually. I know it sounds lame, but that's my criteria for guys. I know I have high standards, but that's just me. I guess that's why I don't have a boyfriend, noone's that perfect.

I'm not perfect as well. I have my flaws..but I won't mention them. Different people find different flaws in me, so it kinda depends on personal preference. But still, everyone around me seem to have a partner, me...still single. I hope I find someone right for me...soon...

I forgot to tell you guys something that happened yesterday. Me and 2 other friends were at borders. One of them had picked out a book, something to do with some oracle thing. Thing is, it supposedly tells your future. They did a few qns, as did I. These are the ones I did. "'How many children will I have?' 'Three'" "'Am I fat?' (I did this to test if this thing was actually for real) 'Not at all'" "'Will my interview go well?' 'You might not think it did, but it does.'" and some others. Thing is, about the interview one. I did that 'coz today I went for a job interview, a major one. To apply for a Flight Stewardess position. Funny thing is, I didn't think it went very well. But if the oracle was right, I might get it. I HOPE... But whilst holiday-job-hunting today, I applied for a holiday-temp-job in a shop. What if the oracle was true, but was talking about my holiday-job??? That will mean that I won't get my Flight Stewardess job. Oh no...disaster!! I'd rather get the Flight Stewardess job than the sales one. 'Coz the Flight Stewardess one is more important in my future than this sales job. Damn it, maybe I'm over-thinking this, I dunno. I'm so screwed...

Long time no see...

Haven't submitted an entry for quite some time. Lazy I guess...

On the night of Saturday, 2nd November 2002, I was at a party in Milk Bar. It was one of those renowned ACJC parties. ACJC is a popular Junior College that anyone and everyone wants to get involved with, to be in the 'in' crowd. Anywayz, I recently got invited to one such party, one of which was my first, but likely will not be my last ACJC party. I've always thought that JC parties were a bore. People thinking they're all cool, trying to show of that they can drink. It was exactly like that, but it was fun...

The GUYS! My gawd...some egghh...some WOW. Haha... There were the usual hotties and cuties, whilst others, trying to look like hotties and cuties. Have to give them credit for it though. The "famous" Jed Ong was at that party, and well, I'd thought he could have looked better. I've never heard of him till recently, maybe a few weeks before this party. An ACS(I) guy showed me and a friend their year book. Jed looked amazingly HOT in the sports photos. He was accepting an award for swimming. Yes girls, he's a swimmer. Total hottie. But back to the party. I was kinda disappointed when I spotted Jed from afar. Not as good-looking as what he seemed in the picture. Mann...that totally spoiled that image I had of him in my head. That's why sometimes, these things are much appreciated from afar. Another guy I had my eye on was one who lived around my area. Well, so I thought. I don't know his name, BUT, I did take the same public buses to school with him at times (This was when I was in Secondary School). My friend says he's a Malaysian who's TAKEN. Damn... But who cares, not like I was going for him. He's cute, but I don't want to get to know him. I don't want that precious image I have of him in my head to be ruined by some little detail I wouldn't like about him. I know, I know... Nobody's perfect. But these guys ARE...in my head, so I'd rather let that image stay in my head and not let reality tinker with it. So yea, so far these 2 guys are the obvious ones. But nah...not interested. They're my eye-candies, nothing more.

More about the upcoming parties soon... See ya!!