"When I think of you, I wanna puke. Just 'coz you're mad with me, you say bad things about me. 'Coz I'm not perfect, you diss me. Say what you like about me, 'coz you know it isn't true. Would you give your number to an ugly girl? Taking things out of context is just plain low. Btw, I don't think the world revolves around me. Quite the opposite actually. Just 'coz you're sore doesn't give you the right to diss people like that. It's your friggin life, screw with it if you will. Who cares? I thought you were a nice guy, but you're such a hypocrite. What more can I say?" - me

Didn't expect to go town today, but I did anyway. It was super boring!!! Mann...I think the SARS has really scared the hell out of town goers. It was quite empty today. But as I was going to Wheelock Place, NYDC, for dinner, my friend and I spotted these 3 guys. Haha, typical ya? Anyway, one guy looked quite familiar, but the one who caught my eye wore grey. So cute ya know. Obviously mixed-blood. The tallest one, was alright. The 3rd guy, well, didn't really notice him, but at one galnce I thought he was cute too. Sigh, 3 guys, all cute. What more could've made my day???

It's a Sunday morning, and I'm up this early. 'Coz I haven't slept at all the night before!!! Gawd, I was sleeping in the cab on the way home though, so now I'm more awake than before. I can't believe I'm up this early on a Sunday morning, so not the usual. The last time I didn't sleep the whole night was, I think, one of those Fridays when I went clubbing then stayed out with friends till 6am. 'Coz that's when there're buses. After paying so much for clubbing, it's usually a better idea to spend the rest of the wee hours of the morning at a food place like Newton Circus or some Roti Prata stall, then take a bus home. Nights like these does make me very tired, but it's fun! Spend the whole night talking, mostly crap, and spending time hanging with friends. Last night was quite fun. But now, back to reality, back to school work, back to life. Crap...

I drank quite alot yesterday too. Haha, I was so high, even before everyone else. Everything was so dazey. It's so fun to get high. But don't worry, I wasn't drunk. I didn't puke, I wasn't sick. It was the good kinda high. My friend, however, wasn't that lucky. We played this game called "Bigger or smaller" which is a card game where there's a card shown (example: 2 of Diamonds), then a player has to guess whether the next card would be bigger or smaller than the card's value on the card already shown. So obviously, the chances of the next card being bigger is better than it being smaller, so you choose 'bigger'. If for instance, you're too high and you say 'smaller', and the next card turns out to be bigger, you drink! There, so my friend kept on losing, and the more he drank the more high he felt. So then, because he was high, the dealer started bluffing him. Like a Jack came out, and of course the logical pick would be 'smaller', but the dealer kept on shouting 'bigger'. So in confusion, my friend just said 'bigger' and of course, it turned out to be smaller, so he had to drink again. Stupid idiot. After too many losses and drinks, he felt so sick, the guys brought him outside and he puked a whole lot. I didn't see, but when he sobbered up, he told us he puked like 15 times. EEEwww... All these people ahh... Dunno their limits.

I advice people who are non-drinkers starting out, to go slow, don't drink fast and not too many. Start off with Bacardi Breezers or something. Lemon's good. Then slowly work yourself up to Vodka. Screwdrivers are great. My fav. It's a mix between Vodka and Orange Juice. After you get the hang of this drinking, then try something else to just taste what everything else tastes like. Don't become an alcholic though. It's not good. Drinking once in a while, or at occassional parties are great to get a little high on, but not too many times, and not a few days in a row. Very easy to become an alcholic. I was almost one. Haha... Serious! But I've learned to control my urges, so it's better to play it safe ya? This caution is especially for my cousin. You know who you are. If you wanna really drink, wait till you're 18 k??? For now, take sips here and there, but not too many. Ok, I'm sounding like a mom right now. Damn, need sleep. Kay, BYE!

For all those who do not know, I'm a huge Good Charlotte fan. And I just saw the making of their video "The Anthem" on MTVAsia last night. I missed it the previous night and was so upset about it. Lucky thing, they re-telecast it last night at 1am in the morning. My friend was over at my house so we were watching and eating instant noodles at the same time. It was a blast. The making of the video though, was a little boring. GC didn't look like they were partying as much as they did in the video itself. But got to see Tony Lovato from Mest, so that's a plus. Btw, Mest also just finished shooting their new video from their upcoming album/single, "Jaded(These years)". The video will feature Benji from GC, members of The Used, Goldfinger, and Sugarcult. Can't wait to see the vid. Ok, that's all from my music update this morning, haha, sound so pro(Rrright...). See ya peeps. Ta!

Just watched "Just Married" just now. HAHAHAHAHA... Damn funny. Ashton Kutcher plays Tom Leezak in the movie. Surprisingly, unlike his role in "That 70s Show", Ashton shows more of his serious side. But of course, being a comedy, Ashton isn't all that serious in this movie either. His goofy-ness can be seen in almost all of the scenes. Brittany Murphy, stars as Sarah McNerney, a rich girl who marries Tom Leezak and discovers that marriage life isn't as easy as it seems to be. This movie is a must-see. It's not terrific, but it's worth watching.

New poem on the way, still adding a few touches here and there. Can't wait for you guys to read it. I'd better get that comment box thingy fixed too, so that I can get feedback on my self-proclaimed saddistic poems and etc. Right, see ya!

Being surrounded by friends, I still feel so alone...

When life gets too tough,
eat CHOCOLATE!!!

Yum!

I've just wrote a poem of my own, inspired by Tim Burton's "The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories.

Spring Boy

Spring Boy was made out of spring.
He often liked to dance and sing.
The only sound he could make was 'boing'.
He was a sad sad little boy.

One day it had started to rain.
Spring Boy started feeling some pain.
The rain water was rusting him stiff.
Was it a curse or was it a gift?

When the rain stopped,
Spring Boy couldn't move.
He couldn't make a sound,
he couldn't even groove.

Thus Spring Boy's life had come to an end.
He couldn't bounce, jump, move, or bend.
A poor poor boy was he,
he couldn't live the life he wanted to lead.

-Amanda

Stick Boy and Match Girl in Love

Stick Boy liked Match Girl,
he liked her alot.
He liked her cute figure,
he thought she was hot.

But could a flame ever burn,
for a match and a stick?
It did quite literally,
he burned up pretty quick.

Witty lines taken from "The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy & Other Stories" by Tim Burton.

Can't wait to get this book.

Had work today. Sales were pretty slow so my collegue and I did crossword puzzles in some magazine. Haha, now I have all this new words in my head.

Damn, I'm so slack. I failed my BE again. Tomorrow's the re-test and I'm no where near passing. I'll have 5 hours from when my class ends tomorrow till the paper starts, so that's a relief in a way. Dag-damn it, hate BE. If I fail this, I'd probably fail the exam, and failing the exam means getting kicked out of school. 'Coz I failed this module once before last semester, so if I fail again, they'd kick me outa school. And my parents wouldn't be too thrilled.

There's a dang lizard in my room!!! I can't get the sheltox 'coz it's in the kitchen and the lizard's in my room, near the door. So yea, it's in the way. I just want it out of the room, out of the toilet ('coz I wanna bathe later on), and into the living room, far far away from me. I have rolled-up wrapping paper to hit the wall near it. Ya know, to shoo it away, but it's not helping!!! It has another wrapper in the roll itself, so it can be extended to touch the lizard. But eeeeeee... I don't want to touch it, even though it's the wrapping paper. What if it crawls onto the roll and comes towards me??? EEeee... What if it falls onto the floor? Or jumps on me? EEEEEEeeeee...
HELP!

Just came back from Heeren. From the pre-listening 'party' of Linkin Park's new album, Meteora, releasing on 24th March 2003. We were played 7 tracks off this new album. I was quite sleepy, so they pretty much sounded all the same to me. I didn't even win a poster, damn it. But yea, I did however, receive a Linkin Park T-shirt. It's simple but nice. I don't think I'd ever wear it out though. But who knows? Before the listening to the tracks, played overhead in HMV, they were giving away free stuff. Posters, and cardboard things, but a very valuable item is what interested me. It was Hybrid Theory, the last ablum, framed up. Like the kinds you see on MTV Cribs. The kind, the artists get after selling tons of records. My gawd, and this small pew-ny guy got it!!! DAMN!!! But anywayz, he had to do quite a number of things, so yea, kinda well-deserved. Btw, there was a guy there (weren't you not suprised), that looked like a slighty younger version of Keagan Kang. He's even better looking than Keagan! Haha, anywayz, earlier in the day, I saw Spiky hair dude! Yes, again!! He's damn cute mann... Haha... Okay, again, me, need, sleep. *yawnz* Night!

Oh ya! Today, this guy came up to me and was like, "Hi, can I know you?". Firstly it's "Hi, can I GET TO know you?", proper English dude! Secondly, he's creepy. I spotted him and a girl in and around HMV, and they were like following me thru the DVD section, giving me strange looks. Then like when I came out of the salon (my friend was getting her hair done), he approached my friend and I, and gave that line. After rejecting him, the girl who wasn't far away was like, "Give la, come on.". ... ... ... I got nothing to say lor! I was like, "Eh, no.". Do they need me to enlighten them with other words that mean 'no' ? I wouldn't mind. But seriously, why do I attract all the wrong guys (not counting the guy at OO)? And he's so eee... Haha... But yea, should I wear a sign around my neck saying "Losers keep a distance"? Gawd, could he even picture me with a guy like him? It's just not possible!!! And his friend!!! How could she even encourage him??? Do I look easy?? I don't think so. Sorry, but I have standards ya know. Shit, standards. That sounded so shallow. But face it, reality is like this. Looks count, 'coz it's your first impression. Like, would you buy face wash from a guy who has tones of pimples on his face??? I don't think so. First impressions are like that! Yes, he maybe nice, I wouldn't know. But he should present himself better. That will take him the level 2, the getting to know their personality. So basically, it's looks first, then personality. But after all that, it's always the compatibilty and chemistry that counts to make a relationship start and work. Whether or not both parties are comfortable with each other and if they can click with one another. Sigh, I'll give you guys my insight to the world of reality next time. I've got school tomorrow and I need sleep! Ciao! Adios! Aurevoir!

Clubbing 2 nights in a row!!!

Thursday's party was alot better though. It was a friend's party and it was a blast! Cute guys, pretty girls, everything that makes a great party. Plus, I was so dressed for the occassion. I think that night was my best dressed night ever, for clubbing. The music wasn't all that spectacular but I had great company. Knew quite a number of people there, so it was all good. The only thing I didn't like was that some people there were from Ngee Ann Poly. Great. I didn't want people whom I didn't know, but were from my school to know how I'm like outside school walls. It's just weird. The drinks yesterday were good too. Well mixed screwdrivers got me high. I drank 2 glasses, and was invited to drink from 2 jugs later on. It was like a competition thing. Trying to drink as fast as you can to finish the jug. So everyone drank as fast as they could through the straws, and btw, drinking alcohol fast will make you high faster, and that was the whole point. So yea, I was high, I was dancing to R&B, I was with great company, what more could I ask for? Haha... Yes, there were other guys. One of which caught my eye. I've always seen him in other jc parties, and the host knew him that's why he's there, he was invited too. He's so cute. My friend and I were dancing next to him and his group of friends, he was actually nearer to my friend, but while he was dancing, he changed positions with his friend who WAS beside me. So yea, we were dancing and I accidentally stepped on his foot. I was like,"Oh sorry!". And he was like, "It's okay". Then he started to dance with me from behind. I wasn't aware of that at first 'coz duh! he was behind me, but my other guy friend shouted into my ear ('coz the music was blasting), "I think he's interested in you!". Haha, I didn't mind of course. But I acted all cool, and didn't acknowledge him. So then he continued dancing with his friends. Haha, I'm weird I know! But towards the end of the night, I was dancing with 3 other friends on the dance floor, then he and his friend started to dance closer and closer to our group. There wasn't space next to me so he danced wherever was closest. They kept on changing places, from next to one friend, then to another. Then they completely stopped and his friend started to point at me. So yes, it was obvious. But to cut the whole story short, he didn't talk to me in the end. So yea, I'm disappointed, but there'll always be another jc party. There's one next week, so we'll see...

Btw, Hendrix is getting worse by the visit, so don't even bother paying good money to go there. The floor's are always wet, the aircon's like no use, the drinks are like crap and the music combis suck! Basically, Hendrix is nothing compared to OO(Double O). It has a lousy crowd, lousy drinks, and lousy atmosphere. OO rulez!

My gawd...
Saw spiky hair guy again today... *sigh* He's always around when I least expect him. Everytime I thought he'd not show up, he would come walking by. Everytime when I least expect to see someone, that person always shows up, and I'll give that spastic look of surprise on my face, each and every time. Annoying... I need to be more prepared next time. Be it a friend, an aquaintance, or a crush...must be prepared. Haha, look at me, talking all this nonsense. Need sleep... *sleepwalk to bed* ... *sleepwalk back to comp* *type* Good night, sweet dreams! *sleepwalk to bed, again*

Ps,
I thought my tennis was improving, but after today's game, I take it back. Oye...

War...

It's coming, it's here, it's now.
Scary isn't it? Just knowing that there might be a war in 48 hours. The decision between War and Peace lies in one person's hands. In most parts of the world, many protest with "PEACE" and "NO WAR" signs. Just wearing a simple white ribbon simbolizes Peace. So please, support peace and wear a white ribbon.

Just came back from a gig. Yes, another one. This time at ISS, an international school. The turn out was quite a number, and mostly, of course, caucasians. *smilez* You can imagine my reactions upon seeing all the cute guys. *sigh* But seriously, only a few really caught my eye, hopefully vice versa as well. The gig started with mostly amatuer bands that were formed by the host school. Not very good I must say, most had done covers. But a few did make me bop a little at times, few, but not bad. The gig lasted for 6 hours minimum; from 6pm onwards. I had left earlier a little bit to catch the last bus, so I did miss 2 really good bands; Pug Jelly, and, Gorbachev. Potential Problem played as well. At first, most of the crowd had left, 'coz let's face it, these "ang mo"s don't give us locals the credit, or at least the benefit of the doubt that we might actually be worth sticking around for. They just go to support their own kind, as well as drooling over gd-looking band members. Poseurs. But yea, after the 2nd song, the crowd started coming back, and that's when the real party started. I dunno what came over me, I was totally not myself. Or maybe I WAS myself. When PP started playing, I'd bop my head to the beat as usual, but after a while I started fooling around, dancing and all. My gawd..now that I think of it, I hope no one was watching. But I have to admit, it was fun just being crazy and all. Anyway, I also visited the performers' waiting room. It was like a mini party in there. A group of performers found this balancing thing. It's like a mini see-saw. You step on it and try to balance. Anyway, they started to experiment with this little prop. Whilst one was stepping on one side, someone else would jump onto the other side, and the result? The other guy would fly off. And sometimes, my gawd, WOULD they fly. One had even hit his head on the cardboard ceiling!!! Funny show though. It's good that these performers can also entertain themselves. If ever they lose their day job, they'd always have this to fall back on. So yea, basically, $10 for a gig like this was quite worth it. Cute guys (*sigh*), good music (well, some.), fun entertainment, and last of all, maybe made some new friends. Hope they'll have another one like this soon, and don't forget the Guyz!!!

Me right now:
Sleepy, tired, lethargic, heavy-eyed, sluggish, weary, exhausted, worn-out, drained, bushed, dead beat.

Solution:
Sleep, rest, slumber, nap, snooze, doze, forty winks, cat nap.

Goodnight.

Spiky hair dude was at the library today. It's weird 'coz he kept walking in and out of the cafe. One time, he sat on one of those high stools and faced the tv, but he kept on looking back. Maybe he recognised me from town, 'coz I always see him in town. The last time I did, was at Cini, on a Saturday. Afterwhich, a few mins later, I saw UTT!!! Who's Utt? Who's Utt??? VJ UTT, you alien! My gawd, he's so cute!!! I was inside a shop talking to a friend who was standing at the entrance of the shop. Then suddenly, I noticed a guy walking past, talking on the phone, looking straight at me. Guess who??? Utt! Duh... Damn cute, much better in person definitely. So yea, Saturday was a good day. No no no...it was a really good day. *smilez*

"Do you love me that much?" - me

OMG!!!
I can't believe this! I can't talk to anyone about this 'coz no one I know will understand.

What a twist!!! If you've watched the show 'Felicity' you'd know what I mean. Gawd...travel back in time to change the course of her future? Picking Noel instead of Ben? Alright, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, and you don't watch 'Felicity', then you can stop reading right now. Anyway, I don't usually read the synopsises, but I just had to know what would happen next. What I found out was, this is actually the last season of 'Felicity'. How sad... Mann...lurve this show. Anywayz, I read the synopsis and I tell you, it's going to get more confusing than ever! Only 3 more episodes to go, so don't miss any of them! I can't tell you what will happen, but you just HAVE to watch the last 3 episodes. Mann, can't wait till next Weds. My gawd... I should sleep now, yes, I should sleep now. It's 1:27am. I'm super hyper, and I don't know why. I guess I'm just excited. Can't believe they cancelled 'Felicity'. No more after this season, sad. Ok ok, it's 1:28am now. I'd better sleep. See ya!

Listening to 'Running' by No Doubt. Damn nice song. Starts out like a 'Mario' Nintendo game, haha, cute.

I was just staring at myself in the mirror just now and I realised I'm so sick of what I was looking at; me. Everyday I see myself in the mirror, and everyday I realise how much I hate the way I look. I look, lifeless.

Just staring at the mirror, I was picking out (not literally) all the flaws in my face. Here, there, everywhere. Of course no one's perfect, but it's especially 'coz it's me. I'm my harshess critic. What people don't notice, I do. 'Coz, in a way, I've known myself the longest. I know my worse and my best. People usually see the inbetween. What I'm afraid, I guess, is that people might see my worst one day. Not that I care if they'd like me or not, it's who I am. But, I just don't want people to think about it. Listen to me, I'm talking in circles. I guess all I need is sleep, to clear my mind. Idle thoughts aren't very good sometimes. Makes you think of things that aren't really that important. CRAP! I have some school work to do, I'd totally forgot!!! Ok, see what idle thoughts does to me? ... Alright, till next time. Aurevoir~

Today rawked!!!! Haha...well...kinda. The turn out wasn't too good. At first was mostly parents and relatives of the first act, Socratic. They sung in Malay, so their music didn't really appeal to me. Next act was LunchBox. Personally, I think they'd make a great intrumental band. The music is great, but the vocals, well, let's just say it sound be worked on. No offence, but most of the time, I can't hear much, only screaming and more screaming. Sorry Rudi, but I'm telling it as it is. Anyway, 3rd act was Potential Problem. Their catchy pop-punk tunes never fail to impress me and keep my foot tapping to the beats. Although I think PP's a real talented band, they should have more practices. Their performance today was rather imprompt. Still...I enjoyed their performance. 4th act was Gorbachev. They're an all-Jap 4 piece band, that produced alot of Green Day-ish kinda songs with a touch of J-rock influence to it. Very enjoyable, easy listening, and definitely head-bopping. The last act was Vertical Rush. Well known for their slower tunes, VR started their performance with 2 faster songs. Though it wasn't too bad, I think VR should stick to their slower emo songs. Oh maybe it's just not my kinda music. I dunno. But I love their 2 slow songs, 'Hello Goodbye' and 'Fly Away'. Basically, the overall gig today was good. Hope to see these bands perform again soon.

Btw, PP's EP is out. Today was a sell-out. They're back home re-printing more, so if you want to get a hold on it, email potentialproblem@yahoo.com. 1 cd costs only $6, so get one now!!! (My gawd, I sound like an ad!)

Going to PARTY tomorrow!!!

Tomorrow's the gig and I'm ecstatic!! My gawd...so excited!!! What's more..I'm bringing tons of money to buy merch. There'll be a merchandise stand selling anything from cds to shirts done by the band. Plus, Potential Problem's demo is done, so I can get it at tomorrow too. My gawd!!! If you're not going tomorrow, you're going to miss out on ALOT. Great music, great ppl, great everything! Will tell you 'bt it tomorrow. Can't wait!!!

Btw, you can still get a hold of tickets by calling the Community Centre, that's Jurong Green Community Centre, at 65675012. This is only available for Singapore residents (as in people living in Singapore, 'coz duh! it's a local tel. number), but if you're a foreigner and want to fly down, you're welcome too! Our country code is 65. So it's 65-65675012. Okay, enough crap. Be sure to call before 2:30pm, 'coz at 3pm, nobody's gonna pick up your call. We'd all be inside rocking out. So yea, come join us!!!

I realised something today. I can learn something in a few hours that the school takes a few weeks to teach. I realised this just, 'coz I've been doing last minute studying these days. I never really pay attention in class, so most of the time I don't understand what the topics are about. So yea, I teach myself the night before, topics I'm weak in, topics I've never realised there was, and also revised on the topics I DO know. Of course I do refer to the textbook and the online learning when I need some help. I just think the Ministry Of Education should re-think this 'learning' concept. I mean, we have 4 months, maybe alittle more, of school each semester. 4 months... Do we really need it to last that long? Why not have 1 month of school for 1 semester? 1 week of teaching, followed by common tests, then back to a week of teaching, then another week of exams. DONE! 1 semester, done in a month. By June, students can get (for polytechnic) all 3 years of education done in 6 months. Of course not forgetting time-off afterwards, like a few months? *smilez* Just imagine what a few years of education can bring us. If this system of studying is implemented, children can get their masters before they reach 20! I mean, yes, that's really rush, but doesn't society want us to be productive in a shortest amount of time? The less time they give us, the harder we work to meet the deadline. Don't we? Like me, for example, I study last minute trying to squeeze every bit of information into my brain. For me, personally, 'coz my memory's not too good, I learn and understand, not memorize. So yes, I do understand how the topic goes and I learnt this in the short amount of time I had between when I started studying the night before and sleep to exam time. Of course I do forget information 'coz hey! I did try to learn 3-5 topics in less than 5 hours? But isn't that more productive than, so far, 2 months of schooling? With all this education out of the way, we can start to enjoy life. Most of our youth is spent in school. When are we ever gona stop and smell the roses? It just sickens me sometimes, that I don't have time to hang out with my friends, neither can they hang out with me. Why?? Time!!! We don't have much of it to spend with our peers these days. And it just sickens me. School's just taking too much time. It's taking away my youth... It's wasting me youth away...

My gawd...my first paper was a mess...

My paper started at 9am. Guess what time I woke up? 9am!!! I had no time to revise anything! I didn't even have time to put on my contacts. I just put on whatever was lying around, some accessories (never leave home w/o them), glasses (yes, people actually saw me in specs), hairband on my 'just-woke-up' hairdo, and chucked everything I needed to bring for my later 'studying time' for my next paper, and out the door I went. It was so rushed! Good thing my dad could send me to school. Plus, I had to be in the exam hall by 9:30am, if not they wouldn't let me in to take the paper. Gawd...great start to my common tests. Anyway, I got there and I totally forgot that I wrote my seat number on my textbook, which of course I didn't bring; I wouldn't have had time to revise anyway. So yea, there I was, in front of the whole examination hall, in my glasses w/ totally messed up hair asking the lecturers for my seat number. I walked up to 4 lecturers, one after another, 'coz they weren't in charge of my group. I didn't even know what group I was in!!! Finally, I found my seat and began on my paper. 1st qn, fine. 2nd, also fine. 3rd, alright. MCQ, no problem. Short Answer Questions, oh no!

My mind had gone totally out of focus. I couldn't think. I was still half-asleep. Questions that I had practised came out, but in a really complicated way. They had extra readings, extra words, extra components. I didn't learn this. Was I even sitting for the right paper??? ... I just checked, yes. Why is it, that this paper is even harder than last semester's? I mean, hello? I did fail this module, and they're making it harder? You would think that they'd understand that we're not very strong in the module, I mean that's why we're here in the first place right? 'Coz we didn't do well. Silly people. The whole world is silly. They make the poor and hungry work harder and the rich and well-fed ones get to relax. I just think the everyone should place their priorities in order. Help the weak, support the strong.

Anyway, my EG2 paper's today. I don't even know how the last chapter works. I guess I'd better get to it then. Adios!